WhichExtent I Agree or Disagree with Dr. Tannen’s Contentions
WhichExtent I agree or disagree with Dr. Tannen’s Contentions
Thearticle “Sex, lies, and conversations” was written by DeborahTannen and published in the Washington Post on June 24, 1990. Theauthor addresses the systematic challenges that limit theconversation between couples. Tannen (1990) advances an argument thatthe lack of communication in marriage is the most significant causeof a high prevalence of the cases of divorce in the U.S. However,this issue is more likely to be raised by women than men. Tannen(1990) attributes this trend to the fact that ladies expect theirpartners to be conversational and able to take the place of theirchildhood friends. In this paper, I will discuss the extent to whichI agree or disagree with Tannen.
Oneof the key interesting issues raised by Tannen (1990) is the ideathat women are more concerned about the lack of communication thanreal or tangible inequalities. I agree with the author becauseconversation is the primary method that ladies use to express theirminds and measure happiness in their relationships. A study conductedby Daneshpourm, Asoodeh & Lavasani (2012) confirmed thisassertion by indicating that women rely on the level of effectivenessin communication to determine the success of their marriage. Men, onthe other hand, tend to be more practical. They measure the successof their marriage using material things, instead of communication.Therefore, the assertion made by Tannen (1990) is confirmed byempirical studies.
Theauthor, Tannen (1990), attributes the differences in communicationbetween couples to childhood experiences that have a direct impact onhuman growth. The author holds that girls tend to socialize throughtalking while boys prefer spending their time doing tangible things. I partially agree with Tannen (1990) on this issue. First, I concurwith the author on the notion that the experiences that people gothrough in different developmental stages affect their futurerelationships. However, I disagree with Tannen (1990) on the ideathat the establishment of the same-sex associations is the primarycause of the differences in the way women and men communicate inmarriage. According to the theory of psychosexual development, thelatency phase in which children tend to relate with peers of the samegender lasts for six to twelve years (Aldridge, Kilgo &Jepkemboi, 2014). This period is relatively short (about six years)compared to the entire human life, which suggests that there areother factors that could explain differences in the manner in whichhusbands and wives communicate.
Theneed to find a viable solution to the impact of communication onmarriage is another key issue discussed in by Tannen (1990). I agreewith Tannen on the fact that strategies used by psychologists toaddress the challenge of the lack of effective conversation areineffective and biased. Most of the modern psychologists recommendeffective communication as the basic solution to problems that leadto divorce (Daneshpourm, Asoodeh & Lavasani, 2012). I agree withthe author because encouraging couples to engage in the conversationwill favor women while oppressing men who measure the success ofmarriage using success in material things.
Inconclusion, Tannen addresses a critical issue of communication thataffects the success of marriage relationships. It is evident thatconversation is more valuable to women than men. Although theexperiences that people go through as they grow affect their abilityto establish relationships, the same-gender associations are not theonly factors that have an impact on marriages. In addition, most ofthe current solutions that are used by psychologists have been shownto be ineffective. The assertions made in Tannen’s article areconfirmed by available empirical studies.
References
Aldridge,J. Kilgo, L. & Jepkemboi, G. (2014). Gender bias in developmentalpsychology textbook: The examples of Sigmund Freud. SOPTransactions on Psychology,1 (1), 22-26.
Daneshpourm,M., Asoodeh, H., & Lavasani, G. (2012). Self described happycouples and factors of successful marriage in Iran. Journalof Systematic Therapies,30, 43-64.
Tannen,D. (1990, June 24). Sex, lies, and conversation. TheWashington Post.Retrieved January 1, 2016, fromhttps://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/opinions/1990/06/24/sex-lies-and-conversation/01cb17ba-1af7-4bf4-8a02-3d1b6c11648f/?utm_term=.ff639bbb499a
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